halfofMyL1fe….

Herm ….feeling differend after working in Topshop for 3 months ….learned many different things plus experienced something that i have never thought of ….i felt realli grateful for that …Sigh ….what i am doing now is just sitting down looking and the monitor thinking how to express my feelings ….How i wished time could just hold for a long time till i say go ….i have many things to think but do not wanna waste so precious time that we all had ….i will be going to college in a week time …hopefully it will all be just as i had expected ….i am currently feeling lonely ….feeling lost …..feeling afraid of loosing something in life …..sometimes i just wished i can be like some folks who are so relax …free who doesnt even cares if the skies falls ….but i definitely cant …because i have tried many times  as a results i only see hair falling down ….In life i believe we can never be a nice person ….as i have experienced  i think its more like a drama …..its not that they dont wanna be real ..but the worlds force them too …but sometimes this makes me wonders ….must we act so much in order to succeed …i mean we are not in a drama …we are living in reality …cant we just be who we are and life can just go on like that  ….. perhaps i was being really naive about this ….but fortunately i believe i still have a few friends that is really true to themselves and also me …and i am really grateful for that ….i am not saying i am a ‘nice’ person but i am trying to be one to cut downs the crowds ….. and one more things i just felt that appearance is really important …but many said NO….hermmm …i will love to be with those folks who said NO ….Whispering (because i look in the mirror often)….giggle ….hermmm …nah i dont mean that …its just that i feel down and really sorry for myself because i am not appreciating what i have and wanting for more ….why ??? i mean why humans always tend to wantt more then what they already have ….i mean what they have isnt that bad …come on!!! ….Sometimes analysing life could be really interesting ….and i thing i found the answer ….because we are living in one sinful world ….and that includes me …i am a sinful folk …..never will be perfect but will try to be the best ….i hope i am able to achieve what my goal is …..